Two Hearts - Vulnerability Cover

HOW BEING VULNERABLE CAN ACTUALLY MAKE YOU STRONGER!

Vulnerability is defined as the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.  It is essentially defined as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.  Everyone is vulnerable, regardless of how much they try to prove the exact opposite. We are born vulnerable and stay that way for our entire childhood.

Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.

Vulnerability Will Help You...

Embrace your quirks

Our relationship with vulnerability is something we are acquainted with, yet abandon as we merge into adulthood. Your association with vulnerability requires a shift in awareness in order to strengthen your emotional well-being.

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Vulnerability is a very puzzling part of our human experience.  We look for it in others, but hide from it ourselves.  We don’t want it, but we need to see it in others.  Having a healthy relationship with vulnerability is one of the most admirable traits a person can have. A well-adjusted relationship with vulnerability makes way for knowing ourselves better.  

The truth is, vulnerability makes us more susceptible to hurt, heartbreak and disappointment – there’s no denying that!  But without allowing ourselves to be vulnerable we can’t experience the full joy and rapture of life, we can’t become our authentic selves and we can’t be human, because to be human is to be imperfect.  We are designed to fulfill our purpose; which we will only achieve by having a balanced life full of both failures and success.

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Acknowledging vulnerability is very difficult. Most of us may never come to direct terms with it and we bury it so deep within ourselves —rarely do we find the real truth.  We have trouble coming to terms with it, dismantling the fear and discomfort associated with it. We’re taught to silence and hide our weaknesses, thereby creating vulnerability avoidance. 

Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.

Creative Heart

It is essential to recognize vulnerability as good along with the “potential” bad. Accept it and value it as part of the adventure; it adds infinite enhancement to our story in life. Understand that great strengths can be found in areas we feel weak and exposed.

Vulnerability Will Help You...

Baggage

Most of us associate vulnerability with weakness. But in fact, unwillingness or inability to be vulnerable is what actually makes us weaker at some deeper level.  Embracing vulnerability teaches you to accept yourself as you truly are … all the good, bad and quirky bits and pieces

Don’t Worry About What Others Think

Your fear of being criticized or having someone highlighting your faults, mistakes, errors, and many more vulnerabilities is holding you back and is almost always completely non-existent. People are too focused on their fears and themselves to notice yours anyway. 

Be Brave Be Strong Be You

When you have an objective mind you get to truly understand that many people criticize others based on their own flaws.  Learn to filter when others criticize you and you will most certainly be able to gain something positive out it.  Some feedbacks are worth listening to.  Just make sure you do not pay attentions to the ones that try to bring you down,

10 Life Lessons on Embracing Your Vulnerability

"To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength."
"We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."
"Sometimes we must yield control to others and accept our vulnerability so we can be healed."
“It comes down to this: If you want to be seen, heard and understood in the most genuine way possible, be open to the possibility of vulnerability. Allow yourself to be open. I know it’s a scary place, a place very few people dare to venture, but just try it. Try moving the masks away and really looking at a person the next time they engaged in conversation with you."
“You may find that you have been telling yourself that practicing optimism is a risk, as though, somehow, a positive attitude will invite disaster and so if you practice optimism it may increase your feelings of vulnerability. The trick is to increase your tolerance for vulnerable feelings, rather than avoid them altogether."
“Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure."
“ I’m convinced that owning our story and loving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do."
“ Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability. Nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff."
“ If you want to really feel love, trust, and bliss, the price is to face all of the other emotions you have been avoiding (including anger, regret, and shame) – to stand on safe ground, pull out your vulnerability sword, and slay those dragons once and for all."

Vulnerability
EQUALS LESS COMFORT

At least in the beginning

Whether you are uncomfortable at the gym, on stage giving a public speech, or even answering a question in class, we all fear being embarrassed or even ridiculed. We have a natural desire to be admired by people. So we fear exposing our weaknesses to them.  Life becomes our stage.

Empty Stage

Millions of years ago, exposing these weaknesses could have meant the difference between life and death. Not only because venturing outside of safety and comfort exposed us to predators, but also because if we showed our weaknesses to other tribe members, it could mean banishment from the tribe.

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If we were seen as a “weak member”, that meant we could be banished and left to fend for ourselves. If we had to fend for ourselves, we were much less likely to survive the harsh wilderness. So we wanted to hide our weaknesses and ensure that we were liked and respected by our fellow tribe members.  It could be even be considered a survival mechanism.

Vulnerability Will Help You...

Relate to people

WAYS TO INCREASE VULNERABILITY

It will never be effortless to make yourself vulnerable, but there are certain actions you can use to be more comfortable with it.  WillPowered.co offered 3 simple yet powerful suggestions on how we can embrace vulnerabilities in our life. 

1. LET GO OF ANY  JUDGMENT

Letting Go

We all have an ideal world that is based on our own belief system. So when we spend our time walking around, watching TV, or observing our others’ behavior, we judge everything we see against our own ideals.  For better or worse, we judge people we see on their attractiveness, their communication, or their intelligence. 

Love is the absence of judgement

Every time you do this, you train the brain to believe everyone else is also judging you. Because you spend your time judging others against a high ideal, you now judge yourself based on what “you should be”. This leads you to fear being vulnerable because you are afraid that you will not live up to your high standards.

To overcome this tendency, you must train the mind to let go of judging. When you recognize that you are judging others, especially based on performance, stop. Think about whether you being judgmental is helping anything or just feeding your ego.  Then try to allow yourself to see things from the other person’s perspective. This trains the mind to become more open to learning and making mistakes – helping you become more comfortable being vulnerable.

2. LIVE IN THE NOW – BE PRESENT

Almost all of our fears of being vulnerable take place in the future. We envision venturing outside of our comfort zone, we see ourselves failing, and we feel the embarrassment that our future self will go through.  This fear adds an extraordinary level of stress and anxiety on us for no reason. Our thoughts of future failure may not actually happen, and even if they do, we envision the consequences being much worse than they actually will be. 

To avoid this phenomenon, you must train your brain to stay in the present. There is no suffering in the present. You don’t foresee future failure and you don’t dread past embarrassing moments. You simply deal with whatever situation is in front of you. To become more present-minded, practice 10 minutes of daily meditation. This will train your brain to let go of fears of the future and regrets of the past.

3. SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE

A shift in perspective is powerful. It literally causes our brain to tap into our large reservoir of mental energy and provides us with a rush of motivation and willpower.  To shift your perspective and tap into this willpower, ask yourself, “what would my best friend tell me to get through this challenge?” Our best friends have been proven to give us better advice than we give ourselves. They see our challenge through a perspective of objectivity and support. They will give you the motivation to keep going, not beat yourself up.

Life Papercutout

Many of us struggle with vulnerability because of fear, but we also fail to fully realize all of the ways we protect and distance ourselves from others. It may feel like we’re doing the right thing by keeping our mouths shut, when in fact, we should be doing just the opposite.

Vulnerability Will Help You...

Empathy

Being vulnerable involves:

  • ASKING FOR WHAT YOU NEED When we’re hurting, it’s easy to dismiss our pain or try to protect ourselves and the people around us by closing off. Achieving close connections means being willing to speak up when we’re in need. Admitting that we need someone to lean on or that we’re struggling or need help allows our loved ones to feel for us and respond to us in ways that bring us closer.
  • WILLINGNESS TO EXPOSE YOUR FEELINGS –  Sometimes we are afraid to expose our feelings even to ourselves. But acknowledging and accepting our feelings is an important part of being in touch with ourselves and sharing ourselves with others. A big part of strengthening our connections involves being willing to share how we feel with someone else.

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  • EXPRESSING WHAT YOU REALLY THINK – In addition to expressing our wants and needs, it’s important to be honest about our point of view and showing our real selves. Our relationships should be a space in which we aren’t afraid to say what we really think. This doesn’t mean being insensitive or unnecessarily hurtful, but it does mean offering an authentic exchange. We should be open to giving and receiving feedback without being overly defensive. Remembering that we are all human and therefore flawed can help us have more self-compassion and interest as we engage in more honest exchanges.
  • SLOWING DOWN & ENJOYING THE MOMENT – A glimpse of vulnerability is being willing to be in the moment with someone else. When we listen to our critical inner voice or spend a lot of time in our heads, we can miss out on intimacy. Looking our partner in the eye, listening to what they have to say, and being willing to give time and attention to the moment are acts of vulnerability that are often harder to do than we imagine. Yet, engaging in each of these behaviors keeps us closer to one another and to our own feelings.

Vulnerability Will Help You...

Grow Closer to Others

VULNERABILITY WILL ENABLE YOU TO…

  1. LET GO

Rather than waste your energy bottling up your flaws, you use it to reflect on your own unique experience and share that authenticity with others.

  2. CONNECT WITH OTHERS

You let go of the falsehood of perfection. (Side note: No one enjoys hearing about how perfect you are.) Our flaws are what make us unique, approachable, and able to share experiences with others.

  3. EMPATHIZE

Rather than waste your energy bottling up your flaws, you use it to reflect on your own unique experience and share that authenticity with others.

  4. REFRAME IT

Being vulnerable and sharing experiences allows you to see your life from a different perspective. Maybe your once larger-than-life problem even shrinks a bit.

Vulnerability Will Help You...

Bond with the person you live the most

Vulnerable people are more open to trying new experiences.  Probably the most important characteristic [of vulnerable individuals] is openness to experiences in which outcomes cannot be known in advance.

This could be as small as trying a random art class or asking someone on a date to bigger life choices like moving to a new city where they don’t know a single soul. And it turns out they may be happier for it: Research shows experiences ― more than material possessions ― can boost a person’s sense of happiness.

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Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. the new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, i.e. open.

Vulnerability Will Help You...

Kind and Considerate

HOW TO LIVE FOR GROWTH?

Vulnerability is about owning every single page of your life story.  Admitting you are vulnerable and you experience shame from time to time, just like anybody else will help you accept yourself for who you truly are.  There should never be a need to build walls in your life.  Instead, focus your efforts on building bridges.

Build Bridges

You won’t feel the need to compare yourself to others, and being open about your insecurities will give you a support network that will normalize your experience. When we are open about our vulnerabilities, we learn that other people feel the same way and when we have the confirmation that our needs are valid, we can receive the necessary support and learn how to deal with them.  We learn more about ourselves when we’re being vulnerable because there’s no more hiding.  

Vulnerability Ahead

We are aware that it’s hard to be open and show who we really are, but with each step forward it gets easier.  As you understand yourself better, you will become more able and comfortable with showing yourself to others.  Look for ways to step out of your comfort zone, ways that will expose who you truly are without the fear of rejection, guilt or shame.

Understand that we all are works in progress who are able to learn from our failures.  You have to be willing to become exposed and vulnerable so you are able to Challenge Yourself To Be Better… To Do More… To Live For Growth!

We Would Love To Hear From You!

How have you been able to nurture your vulnerability?  In what ways has vulnerability impacted your daily life?  Are you aware of the power of vulnerability and strength?  Feel free to share your experiences with us!

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